Bad Habits

Nail biting, spitting (on the pavement), burping out loud and talking while your mouth is full are just a few of the many bad habits that people find gross. Then we have the socially acceptable habits like the tendency to pass on information people shared with you in confidence, which we justify by saying the person ‘has no chest’. Then we have the other kind that just open their mouth and push, and we always justify their lack of sensitivity for those around them by saying they ‘have no filter’. I am sure you can already think of a few people who fall in these categories within your circle of friends and family members. While you may agree with me that the so-called socially acceptable habits tend to have much lasting negative impacts compared to the effects of someone who just takes pleasure in biting their own nails- I mean, they are only feeding themselves gems- that are all. Whether they stop or continue doing so does not really add or subtract a single day on any person's life, except theirs.

Okay, now that I have your attention, let’s go back to that friend who ‘has no filter’. Let’s say this friend happens to be a teacher…hypothetical speaking. So he is surrounded by kids all day, five days a week. Obviously, they have different learning abilities and our friend happens to be not the least patient of teachers. So, when he wants to move on with the lesson while those children with less advanced abilities have not yet grasped what he has been going on about for the past 20 minutes, he tends to snap and use words like ‘stupid’ or ‘dumb’. According to him, what happens in the classroom stays in the classroom, right? But, the reality is, we, as the society end up raising a low self-esteem child who believes they are stupid because a teacher who also happens to be a well-respected member of the community or religious domination told them so.  Do you get the picture I am trying to paint here? The emotional and psychological effects of ‘not filtering’ before saying or doing something go further than we can possibly imagine. The sad part of this is that, while nails may grow back after biting them, you may never take back the words once they have left your tongue.

Having said that, my plea to you today is that is about time you stopped encouraging these bad habits. Stop laughing when your friend says the most insensitive thing you have ever heard to a stranger. Stop encouraging rude behaviour! Just stop it. By all means do stick up for your friends when someone steps on their toes, but dare not to stoop to that person’s level. Yes, you can’t change the world, but you sure can play your role- no matter how little. This might seem like a minor thing when you look at it with the “people offend people every day” mentality…who cares?  But what we are missing about habits is that they are a key foundation of addiction. Think of a simple example like gambling. It starts as something one does for fun, or to ‘pass time’ as some people like to say. It is okay in this stage because you are doing it consciously and therefore have control over it. So let’s say you happen to win most of the time and that encourages you to keep going back to the casino until you get to a point where going back there becomes an unconscious routine- which is basically what a habit is. Then with time, you get to a point where going back there is all you ever looking forward to, all day. A point where you actually call-in sick for work because you want to go gambling; a point where you stop worrying about anything else as long as you have money for gambling every single day. 

Habits friends, if not paid attention to while they are still on their early stages can lead you to a dead end- literally. It’s about time we called  It Quits! on supporting this kind of destructive behaviour friends. I am sure your friend  cannot be angry at you forever for telling him/her that " Friend, i understand that you believe you have a potential to be a good comedian one day, but you gotta stop making fun of people when we walking on the streets, okay?" If you do not have guts to say this, just think of how your life would be if your friends got addicted into mocking people. You would find them toxic and probably have to think thrice before inviting them to social gatherings with the rest of your ‘normal’ friends. Let’s face it; no one wants to feel  uncomfortable in their own territory.  

On that note, I will leave you to do an introspection and think of those habits that you are personally guilty of.  You are welcome to share them with us here, maybe we can find people who can relate and will hopefully shed some insight on how you can deal with them…until next Wednesday…xxo-P.